by Etienne Paul, CMRO Contributing Writer
Written by Brian Michael Bendis, Art by Chris Bachalo
Everyone repeat after me. Costumes do not work that way. If you take a dress, rip the middle out all the way around, what you end up with is a tattered tank top and a pile of material on the ground. Something very unpleasant happens to Eva and she comes back with a costume that is completely destroyed, but there is no way that the bottom of her dress would stay around her waist like a skirt. I am possibly the furthest away from feminism that you can get without being a chauvinist. I do not have a problem with strong women, nor do I have a problem with pretty ones in tight revealing clothes, but what I do have is an issue with people pretending one thing and actually wanting the other. They did this with the women’s costumes in Amazing X-Men this week as well. What gets me is that Emma Frost is walking around in a costume that has nothing covering her from neck to waist straight down the middle, if you want to put a female character in a revealing costume, there is your precedent. For some reason they seem obsessed with putting them in less revealing outfits and then finding reasons to make them more revealing.
Anyway, enough of my rant on a subject that I know very little about, clothing, and on to one that I know a lot more about, good comics.* The young members of this fledgling X-team have been dumped in the middle of, the Savage Land? Mars? Montana? All we know is it is definitely not the danger room. Anyway, it looks like a bad set from a Sci-fi movie as massive dinosaur like monsters try to eat them, and strange humanoid creatures try to, how do I put this, eat them as well? Basically there are lots of ravenous rabid creatures trying to off our young team and there are no teachers or adults in sight. Magik dumped them here with the cryptic words ‘Have fun’ and you have to wonder just how bad her times in Dormammu’s realm really were if she thinks this is fun.
The problem for me with this book is that I do not care one bit about these kids, possibly with the exception of the Stepford Cuckoos who have been around for a while. I have realised that despite really liking this series, I do not actually know any of their names, and I have to look them up to write about them. Most of them do not make a lot of sense, their powers are ill defined and their personalities are more shallow that Emma Frost pretending to care. ‘Golden Balls’ is frankly ridiculous, he is the comic relief without actually being funny and the fact he is still so chunky makes no sense, Cyclops is not known for being gentle and we even saw his training regime a few issues back, this guy should look like a slimmed down athlete by now.
However this issue does its very best to make me care, to be honest I wonder if this was written because Bendis realised that no one was reading this book for the new characters, but for the old ones who were running the show entirely. When you added in the New-X-Men who crossed over to this teams base you started to marginalise these new characters entirely. The question is, has it worked? I still do not know these characters names, Golden Balls is no less annoying, but over all I do care slightly more about them than I did before this issue.
This is by no means the best issue of this series and to be frank this series appears to have had no direction since Battle of the Atom, jumping from one idea to another in each issue, reacting to events in other titles rather than dictating the pace of the X-Men universe. This is not a bad comic, but it is another symptom that this series has been treading water for 4 months going nowhere in particular.
* Although depending on whom you talk to, this is also debatable as well…