From early on, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close reveals itself as a hollow, calculated, manipulative film. It uses the events of 9/11 not as a narrative armature on which to build a structure of ideas relating to an important juncture in modern politics and culture, but as a trapeze on which to perform pleasing emotional displays. Smug and whimsical, its revelations are factitious, its comments on relationships shallow. It is not the fault of Thomas Horn that by the end of the movie you feel like throwing Oskar's tambourine in the East River and sending him off to swap written messages in silence with his grandfather.

This is how I read that review: I went to film school and know a lot of fancy words. I am using fancy words about this movie because that is what I get paid to do and I went to film school and know a lot about movies.

Whereas I read, "this is an emotionaly manipulative pile of shit".