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 Post subject: Re: R.I.P. Adam West
PostPosted: June 18th, 2017, 10:41 am 
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Spider-Borg wrote:
I didn't say anything bad about transvestites. So it's not a slur, just a play on words. It's sad that people get offended at a light hearted joke just because they have been trained to be offended at the use of a word by the court of public opinion.


What I don't get is why you even had to go down that road in the first place? I get you meant no harm with it. I understand the purpose. But why?

And it's not about conditioning. Words are the most powerful weapon we as a species have at our disposal. Words can hurt more and cut deeper than anything else. It does not matter if it is a joke or in jest, all people must be careful with their words. Especially when you make a joke towards or about a traditionally attacked group.

So don't be mad or upset about it. Just take a step back and try to figure out why you would even casually use the term transvestite in a joking manner.

Anyway, I'm not trying to talk at you. Just talk with you. I get the reasoning. I've been there before, when I didn't realize how powerful my words could be.

And to stay on topic: RIP Adam West.

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 Post subject: Re: R.I.P. Adam West
PostPosted: June 18th, 2017, 2:27 pm 
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Spider-Borg,

It's the kind of joke that might work when you're out at dinner with friends or family who you know are all on the same wavelength as you, but, in a forum like this, where you do not know this about the people you're talking to, it's, at best, a display of poor judgement, and at worst, proof of views I, personally, find backwards and reprehensible. It's why I don't bring up American politics on here, because I'd rather not make a joke I think is funny than find out who some of you voted for in November.

On your use of the word "transvestite," it's largely considered a slur by the broader queer community, and, even if you "didn't say anything bad," it doesn't even mean what you're using it to mean.
A transvestite, by dictionary definition, is a person, generally a man (the patriarchy means women are generally culturally allowed to wear masculine-coded clothes) and often for the purposes of sexual gratification. That last bit is why the word is unpopular now -- the over-sexualisation of a lot of queer language often makes it hard for queer people and communities to fit into the broader world around them; just think of how often queers are called out as "deviants," "perverts," "degenerates," as if me wanting to kiss boys while I wear a cute dress isn't exactly what young cisgender women do all goddamn day long.

Generally speaking, instead of "transvestite," say "cross-dresser," though there are issues there, too.

Generally speaking, what you meant to say instead of "transvestite" is "a trans person" though being trans does not inherently imply surgery because this isn't damn 1963 -- I think statistically speaking, the majority of people receiving some form of gender transition treatment stick to hormone replacement, with top surgery (the removal of breast tissue) being second.

Finally, trans* regret, or de-transitioning, or as you so crudely felt the need to put it, "a surgery to revert back to their former sex" is a touchy subject -- it's generally felt that bringing it up undermines the already incredibly fragile place trans people have in mainstream acceptance. That part wasn't so much offensive, it's just that it adds to your already sh*tty joke being even less funny.

I hope I've worded all of the above appropriately -- my goal isn't to argue or make a stink, but to explain to you why others and myself find your "joke" in bad taste. And, to be clear, multiple people pointing this out to you means the thing you said was in bad taste. That is not up for debate.

Oh, and: Saying people are only upset with you because they've been taught to be is insulting, belittling, and rude. Not unlike your "joke."

Now, re: Adam West: He was never my Batman -- specifically, my Batman was always David Willis' take on the animated Batman, in Shortpacked!, which doesn't actually exist anywhere else -- but as usual with things like this, the huge public outpouring of grief and love is always incredibly touching to me.

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