I know this is a far cry from most of our topics on here, but this is a question for those that are happily married.
How do you know you truly love someone?

I am tired of finding women that I fall for because they are fun for a little while, or because I have a slight connection with them. I want something real. I just wanna know from those with experience how do you know? I've been in off and on relationships and short relationships, and nothing seems real after awhile.
All of my friends are single pretty much, and my parents are divorced (both multiple times). I thought I should get this opinion from a community I care about rather than just random people like yahoo answers.
Anyway, Advice is much appreciated.

_________________
'The soul knows no greater anguish than to take a breath that begins with love and ends with grief.'- Steven Erikson

Married for 5 years, lived together for 8 years, been a couple for 10, daughter born 2 years ago.

We met on the net, but in a rather random way. My aunt put my name down for a British 'lifestyle changing' tv program as a joke, but bizzarely I got picked. I was going to turn it down because I'm rather camera shy, but I found out I would get £250 worth of free clothes, £200 hair cut and numerous other freebies so I went for it. One part of it was online dating, which I though was ridiculous, but what the hell. At the same time my wife-to-be was being perswaded by one of her fat friends to join up to a dating site so she wouldn't be there on her own (women always have to do things together...)

Randomly started speaking to each other, met up one day and have seen each other everyday since. (which seeing as she lived 20 miles away on the other side of the city was bloody expensive at first!)

Ironically we have absolutely NOTHING in common. We hate each others music taste, she loves horror films, I cannot stand them (I scare easy...) she thinks comic books are for kids, I'm a nerd and a geek (and proud!) and she's a late night clubbing party girl (well not so much since the early morning baby wake ups!), I'm privately educated to post graduate level, she left school early and went to work, I need reminding to have a shave, she spends 2 hours a day doing her hair (wish that was an exaggeration!), I'm pc, she's mac (only because it looked nicer...)

My only advice that I can give is don't look for it, because you tend to think you've found 'it' and it turns out its just because you wanted to find something and it wasn't really there.

_________________

Could be a script of a Judd Apatow movie. Nice story, Maidel.

_________________

Haha.

There's more too it, but I won't put it all online, I'm keeping the best bits for the movie.

_________________

That is a really good story.
My daughter's mother is leaving me because we have nothing in common, which I don't figure is a bad thing myself.
I can see what you mean when you say stop looking, but I have a woman in my life who I care strongly for and she'll be in my life for awhile. I don't know how to shake my feelings for her unless I can prove to myself they aren't legit.
(jeez, I'm starting to sound like Cyclops/Murdock/Stark)

_________________
'The soul knows no greater anguish than to take a breath that begins with love and ends with grief.'- Steven Erikson

I've been married for 3 years, been together with her for nearly 10. Maidel is right, you can't look for it it has to happen naturally. For me we sort of had a lot in common, but I don't quite agree that you really need to have everything in common. Everyone is different and it's definitely hard to find the right match. IMO love is a choice, and you have to find someone who wants to love you and show you what love is. I don't want to say that "there's someone for everyone" because I know that's not always the case, but I'm sure someone will come into your life that will be "the one" and you'll be happy.

My best advice to anyone is be happy with yourself. If you find someone who is interested in you I think they'll find it easier to be interested in you if you are happy with yourself. Don't blame yourself for people disliking you, if you are yourself and you are happy with what you are anyone who dislikes you is not who you want to be with.

_________________

Screams,
That last half really hits close to home with me. Thank you.

_________________
'The soul knows no greater anguish than to take a breath that begins with love and ends with grief.'- Steven Erikson

Any time dude.

_________________

Screams hit the nail on the head. I was constantly dating and not finding anything real for years. I finally "gave up" on finding the perfect thing and focused on just being happy by myself, and that's when I met my now wife.

His advice is the best you can get, honestly.

_________________

X2!

_________________
Do not bore me with such trite cliches. For I have you in my clutches, and should I choose, I could snuff out your insignificant lives in an instant.