I get jokes.

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This was the world that I had created. I know what I have to do to fix it...to make things right. There's no problem that can't be solved.

Oh, a Gary Larson calendar!

I don't get it…
I don't get it…
I don't get it…
I don't get it… I…

don't get it.

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Do not bore me with such trite cliches. For I have you in my clutches, and should I choose, I could snuff out your insignificant lives in an instant.

Maybe we could establish a scale for deviation from topic. Model it on a Richter Scale.

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This was the world that I had created. I know what I have to do to fix it...to make things right. There's no problem that can't be solved.

This I am interested to see.

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Imbecile that you are Richards, of course that is your answer.
DOOM know without doubt that the off topic nature of a thread is best messured in distance. That gives you a way to also evaluate how quickly a thread moves off topic:
(off topicness)/(post)
but also gives you the rate at which it does so:
(off topicness)/[(post)(post)]
Or
(off topicness)/(post)^2


Fool!

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Do not bore me with such trite cliches. For I have you in my clutches, and should I choose, I could snuff out your insignificant lives in an instant.

Let me double check your math before something blows up in your face.

oooohhhhh snap

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This was the world that I had created. I know what I have to do to fix it...to make things right. There's no problem that can't be solved.

Your rubbery fingers are ill suited for snapping, Richards.
DOOM needs no revision.

_________________
Do not bore me with such trite cliches. For I have you in my clutches, and should I choose, I could snuff out your insignificant lives in an instant.